This comes from the work of genius known as “A Confederacy of Dunces”

Your total ignorance of what you profess to teach merits the death penalty. I doubt whether you know that St. Casian of Imola was stabbed to death by his students with their styli. His death, a martyr’s honorable one made him patron saint of teachers.

Pray to him, you deluded fool, you “anyone for tennis?” golf-playing, cocktail-quaffing psuedo-pedant, for you do indeed need a heavenly patron.

Although your days are numbered, you will not die a martyr-for you further no holy cause-but as the total ass which you really are.