Best Episodes of the Simpsons
I watched a new episode of the Simpsons and it sucked. So if any of you are thinking that the show has lost it’s way, you are right. But you can’t change the kind of good person it used to be. Here is proof.
E-I-E-I-Doh (The tomacco epsiode)
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: I’m sorry, but we’re not supposed to put butter on the Milk Duds.
Homer: You’re not supposed to go to the bathroom without washing your hands, either.
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: TouchÃ©.
You Only Move Twice(The Hank Scorpio episode)
(Homer enters Hank’s doomsday facility)
Hank: Hey, Homer. I’m keeping two of my fingers crossed that you’re gonna have that nuclear generator up to full power by tomorrow.
Homer: Uh, yes, sir. No problemo.
Hank: Good. By the way, which is your least favourite country? Italy or France?
Hank: Heh, heh, heh. Nobody ever says Italy.
King-Size Homer (The fat Homer episode)
Mr. Burns: (Leading and excercise class) Push out the jive, bring in the love.
Homer at the Bat (The softball episode)
Ken Griffey Jr.: It’s like there’s a party in my mouth and everyone’s invited!
Homer to the Max (Max Power)
Max Power (singing to the tune of Goldfinger): Max Power, he’s the man,
Whose name you’d love to touch.
But you mustn’t touuuuuuuuuuuuuch.
His name sounds good in your ear,
But when you say it,
You mustn’t fear!
‘Cause his name can be said by anyone!
Homer: What’s happening to me? There’s still food, but I don’t want to eat it. I’ve become everything I’ve ever hated.
Behind the Laughter
Narrator: The show was saved by a wing and a prayer. But the wing was on fire… and the prayer was answered. By satan.
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson
Homer: New York is a hell hole and you know how I feel about hell holes.
Marge: Well Of course you wont like a place if all you focus on are the pimps and the chuds.
The Mysterious Voyage of Homer
Chief Wiggum: “Afternoon, Homer. Care for some chili? I’ve added an extra ingredient just for you. The merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango! Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.”
The Springfield Files
Bart: Hey, Dad. What’s the latest word from Planet Crack-pot?
Homer: So you’re gonna keep mocking me?
Bart: Well, actually Dad, I believe you.
Bart: Yeah. You seem so damn sure.
Homer: Thanks. And do you think you can stop the casual swearing?
Bart: Hell yes!
New Kids on the Blecch
L. T. Smash: It’s a three-pronged attack. Sub-liminal, liminal and super-liminal.
L. T. Smash: I’ll show you. (Leans out of window) Hey, you! Join the Navy!
Carl: Uh, yeah, alright.
Lenny: I’m in.
Summer of 4 ft 2
(Family is playing mystery date Bart draws a card for his date, “the dud”)
Homer: Ha ha, you got the dud. (pointing at Milhouse’s face) He looks just like you poindexter.
Bart: Why do we have to play this stupid game while Lisa hangs out with her friends?
Homer: You’ve got friends. You got the dud right here. (Pointing at Milhouse again) Stand up for yourself poindexter.
Homer: Look at them, watching my TV, sitting on my couch. YOU’D BETTER NOT BE IN MY ASS GROOVE!!!
Lisa the Vegetarian
Homer: If I was at a barbecue and there was no meat, I would be like ‘Yo Goober, where’s the meat?’
Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment
Marge: Homer where are you going?
Homer: I’m not going to lie to you Marge… Bye!